16 bryant needs a new broom.

there is truth in the title. though this post will not be about brooms that matt has had since college. instead it will tell the tale of the last few days, concerning roxie pup. early monday morning, luke left for work and pete decided to stay home. shortly after luke left for work, pete and i, laura, discovered a huge bulbous tick on the back of roxie's neck. i pinched said tick in a paper towel and ripped it off her, it's head making a pop noise as it was torn from the body. now is when i decided to give roxie her monthly dose of flea and tick goo. pete and i then took a trip to the local salv, will came over, and i left for work. upon leaving work a few hours later, i got a call from luke. "did you hear about roxie?", "no, what happened?!?", "blah blah blah, slow slow slow" luke told me the slowest version of this story ever as i was freaking out in my car:

roxie started drooling protrusively, pete and will put her outside, and then she started foaming at the mouth, and wouldn't open her mouth for them to see inside. after about an hour and a half of the situation not getting better, they took her to the vet. at the vet, she tried to eat one of the doctors, and wouldn't let them look in her mouth so they had to knock her out. while in the waiting room, pete and will were heckled by freaks. one man who owned 3+ pitbulls (aparently theres a dog fighting problem in the heights) and wanted to breed roxie. and another saying she had rabies.

fast foward, $300 later, they gave us 3 packs of pills to feed her, i think because they didn't know what she had an allergic reaction to. but as it turns out, she licked the flea and tick goo because i put it too far down on her back. yes, i poisoned my own dog. all of the pills must be administered anally (just kidding!) at different times of the day. one of the packs reads: "give 1 tab 2x daily for 3 days, then 1/2 tab 2x daily for 3 days, then 1/2 tab 1x daily for 3 days, then 1/2 tab once daily every other day. start 4/15/08." apparently you have to be a PhD grad to own a dog. the pills make roxie tired, which is kinda nice. on tuesday i called out of work and took her over to the vintage store where she chewed up a broken hanger and stepped all over all the unpriced clothes. thismorning, she woke me up at 7:30 am clawing at my face and being really annoying. i asked her if she had to go out and when i sat up she ran to the door. i had to pee before going outside and roxie came into the bathroom with me, as always. she sat on the floor and stared up at me. i noticed her shaking for a good 3 seconds, and she turned to the door AND PEED ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so, i threw some paper towels on it, ran downstairs with her, where she almost ran into the bryant's open door (the actual last name of the people who live downstairs, is bryant. on bryant street. awesome.) anyway, roxie did diarrhea outside, and kicked it. i went to pick it up and the bag had a huge hole in it. i came inside, cleaned up the pee, and ran back out with another unripped bag. UGH.

now roxie is back to her old self, farting as she jumps up onto her couch. yes, she has her own couch. the end. (video of roxie drooling soon to come)